“Kanya Daan” is the word used in Hinduism which implies the rule of donating girl child at her marriage to her husband by her father. This rule may have different name in different groups but it’s there. I feel that this tradition of “Kanya Daan” is biggest or root culprit for many crimes against women especially female foeticide.
As a girl is supposed to leave her own home after marriage and she will not be there with her parents at their old age, logically parents have no motivation to have a girl child. But yes there are girl children which are due to natural love that parents have for their children irrespective of male or female. When this natural love overshoots the logics, parents do have a girl child. Many times in hope of getting a boy child, parents land up with a girl child. Even in today’s time, there are very few parents who have equal emotions or love for both girl and boy child.
Once they have a girl child then due to emotional attachment they want her to be happy. But unfortunately they have accepted that they can make her happy only by marrying her and sending her to somebody else’s home. They are not able to see the real happiness of their daughter. So now they want her to be happy in her in-laws home and for that they need to make her in-laws happy. To keep her in-laws happy they need to arrange money to give to her in-laws so that they (in-laws) are not harsh to their daughter. Obviously, they think that they are doing it for their daughter. So daughter seems as a burden to them. This all is known to them even at the birth time of their girl child. So at that time only they have so called two logical reasons for not having a girl child: first is not useful to them as she shall leave home after marriage and second she will be burden to them. If natural love overshoots these two logical reasons only then girl child take birth.
Not only this, woman has a lot of struggle in her life due this stupid custom. For whole life she does not have her own home. Either she has her parents’ home or her husband’s home. Since childhood to her marriage time, she is told that she is “paraya dhan” which means somebody else’s property. Most of the fun or entertainment sources are not for her. Many times even higher education is the problem for her even if she belongs to a well educated family. Parents do not prefer to spend big amount of money for her education as they feel that it is better to give that amount to her in-laws in dowry form. After marriage, she is any ways in her husband’s home only. If sometimes there is misunderstanding between her and her husband then she is the one who is supposed to leave home. The reason is “Kanya-daan”. They are many more worst outcomes of this “Kanya-daan” tradition. So, there must be more than something wrong with the tradition.
Moral is that the default rule of sending women to her in-laws after marriage is absolutely bull-shit. Then what should be done at marriage? Should men be sent to her in-laws after marriage? I think, NO, because then there may be problems for men. And we are here to fight for human right, not male/female right.
What we are suggesting is following. Normally while finding spouse, one set some criteria like age, looks, financial status, education, place of residence etc. etc. Similarly one can put some condition that whether she/he wants to shift or she/he need somebody to shift with her/him depending on the convenience and requirement of both the families.
But by default, imposing something on one gender is a crime. I can say that ‘”Kanya daan” should be declared as a crime. No one should have right to donate any one especially one particular gender.
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