BEAUTY PERCEPTION

Why only woman needs to look beautiful? She spent an average of one to two hours daily to have so called beautiful looks. According to our so called civilized society, as a woman she is supposed to do it. She does many things to make her life tough while man doesn’t involve in such things to keep his life easier.

There are few examples:

  • Both man and woman have natural growth of hairs on scalp. But only woman grows her hair and maintain it for whole life while man very wisely keep his hair short and make the life easy.
  • Both have natural growth of eyebrows but only woman interfere with natural growth and try to give it different shapes.
  • Man has natural growth of beard and moustache, but very wisely most of men shave it to have easy life.
  • Woman decorate herself with so many cosmetics (lipsticks, nail paint etc. etc.), while man have safely kept him away from all these things. Also note that these all cosmetic are harmful.

There are many more examples. But the question is how our beauty perception has gone this way. This could not be a very serious issue if all these things depend only on one’s own wish. But there are many-many cases where woman herself does not want to involve in this stuff, but people around (family, relatives and friends) keep on forcing her. One common point is; if she does not decorate herself, no man may like to marry her. Why is this not true other way around i.e. man is not afraid of not being married if he does not decorate himself? If man decorates himself, he will also look different (beautiful) and after some time we shall accept him as a beautiful man and this may be our future beauty perception for man. But he is wise enough to keep himself away from all these uncomfortable things. Kindly do not force woman for all these artificial makeup. She is a human being not a show piece. We need to change our beauty perception.

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Budget 2014:Beti padhao beti badhao yojana

The 2014 budget for India is announced. Jaitley announces ‘Beti padhao, beti badhao yojana’ and sets aside Rs 100 crore for this. I didn’t see anything like ‘Beta padhao, beta badhao yojana’. Why? Don’t we need to save our ‘betas’ and give them education. Ofcourse, we do need. But still Modi government is worried only about girl child. Do our government biased towards girls. No, a big no. Government (being part of Indian society only) understand the social problem. And the problem is such that the one half of our children are at life risk. Yes, actually we all are at risk from sources like terrorism, road accidents, some diseases etc. But in these cases all the risk factors are not targeting one particular gender. Most of the time, terrorism is from foreign nations. But our ‘Betis’ are under threat in their own country, in their own city, in their own street, in their own house and many time by their own parents or grand parents. We have to see what kind of people we are. We are worse than any terrorist. Terrorists kill others, but we kill our own people. I can understand India spending money on armed forces to protest the country from outer disturbances. But it is very difficult to understand the money being spent to save a child from her own family, from her own parents. I feel ashamed to be a citizen of a country where we need to have plans in the country budget to save the child from her own family.

Many people claim that they love their daughters and give them whatever they deserve. But they can not do anything if their neighbor or relatives are doing something wrong with their daughters. Here, I want to say that we take pride of sacrifices of freedom fighters, kalpana chawla, Indian cricket team, Indian armed forces etc. And most of the times, we don’t have any contribution in these things, but still we feel proud to be an Indian because of some good people. Now, if we can take pride of the things for which we have no contribution, then we must be responsible of the problems in India. And as far as the problem of female foeticide is concerned, we people only can do something. Government can not help much. Because this is in-house problems where government has almost no control. It’s our fundamental duty to find the reasons and solution of the problem.

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Kanya Daan: A crime

“Kanya Daan” is the word used in Hinduism which implies the rule of donating girl child at her marriage to her husband by her father. This rule may have different name in different groups but it’s there. I feel that this tradition of “Kanya Daan” is biggest or root culprit for many crimes against women especially female foeticide.
As a girl is supposed to leave her own home after marriage and she will not be there with her parents at their old age, logically parents have no motivation to have a girl child. But yes there are girl children which are due to natural love that parents have for their children irrespective of male or female. When this natural love overshoots the logics, parents do have a girl child. Many times in hope of getting a boy child, parents land up with a girl child. Even in today’s time, there are very few parents who have equal emotions or love for both girl and boy child.
Once they have a girl child then due to emotional attachment they want her to be happy. But unfortunately they have accepted that they can make her happy only by marrying her and sending her to somebody else’s home. They are not able to see the real happiness of their daughter. So now they want her to be happy in her in-laws home and for that they need to make her in-laws happy. To keep her in-laws happy they need to arrange money to give to her in-laws so that they (in-laws) are not harsh to their daughter. Obviously, they think that they are doing it for their daughter. So daughter seems as a burden to them. This all is known to them even at the birth time of their girl child. So at that time only they have so called two logical reasons for not having a girl child: first is not useful to them as she shall leave home after marriage and second she will be burden to them. If natural love overshoots these two logical reasons only then girl child take birth.
Not only this, woman has a lot of struggle in her life due this stupid custom. For whole life she does not have her own home. Either she has her parents’ home or her husband’s home. Since childhood to her marriage time, she is told that she is “paraya dhan” which means somebody else’s property. Most of the fun or entertainment sources are not for her. Many times even higher education is the problem for her even if she belongs to a well educated family. Parents do not prefer to spend big amount of money for her education as they feel that it is better to give that amount to her in-laws in dowry form. After marriage, she is any ways in her husband’s home only. If sometimes there is misunderstanding between her and her husband then she is the one who is supposed to leave home. The reason is “Kanya-daan”. They are many more worst outcomes of this “Kanya-daan” tradition. So, there must be more than something wrong with the tradition.
Moral is that the default rule of sending women to her in-laws after marriage is absolutely bull-shit. Then what should be done at marriage? Should men be sent to her in-laws after marriage? I think, NO, because then there may be problems for men. And we are here to fight for human right, not male/female right.
What we are suggesting is following. Normally while finding spouse, one set some criteria like age, looks, financial status, education, place of residence etc. etc. Similarly one can put some condition that whether she/he wants to shift or she/he need somebody to shift with her/him depending on the convenience and requirement of both the families.
But by default, imposing something on one gender is a crime. I can say that ‘”Kanya daan” should be declared as a crime. No one should have right to donate any one especially one particular gender.

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Tomboy: A meaningless and wrong word

According to Wikipedia, a tomboy is a girl who exhibits characteristics or behaviors considered typical of the gender role of a boy including wearing masculine clothing and engaging in games and activities that are physical in nature and are considered in many cultures to be the domain of boys (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomboy).

I strongly criticize the above definition. Our way of living should be natural and depends on our own wish. It should not be decided by society or some definition.

How can anyone say that the trousers, shirts and jeans are masculine dresses? It is just a matter of comfort. If we look in history, both male and female have very similar dresses. Today we call those as traditional dresses. Nowhere trousers, shirts and jeans were traditional even for men.  But because of the comfort, men changed their dressing sense long back, but women didn’t or may not be allowed to do. Whatever!

But today when she has thought about her comfort and her wish of choosing dress, people have made some stupid definition of tomboy. Let me mention that women using trousers, shirt and jeans as their dresses are strong enough that they don’t care about meaningless definitions and use their fundamental right of dressing sense. They are intelligent enough that they are not spoiling their time to maintain uncomfortable dresses which they don’t like. They have their own style. I have personally met many girls and women who say that they wear sari/suit etc. because their father/husband like/want so. They themselves don’t like it. Moreover today we all are aware about the accidents because of saris and dupattas. Still we are behind our traditional dresses that too only for women.

Now comes the games and activities that are physical in nature, how can anyone say that washing clothes is feminine and playing cricket, volleyball, badminton, table tennis, lawn tennis etc. is masculine. Here comes the matter of time, matter of restrictions. As women normally busy since morning to evening, they didn’t have much time for all those activities. Also at many place women were not allowed to choose the games she wants to play. Being born as girl, all her works/interests were defined. How funny and unfortunate. Even today most of the professional women working 9 to 5 in office, have all sort of works at home that they don’t have much time to spend on their interest. For physical activities, we can see at many construction sites, where sometimes number of women is more than men.

I believe that the definitions like tomboy are made by depressed people. Woman involved in making such definitions may be the one who is not strong enough to live her life the way she wanted and man involved may be the one who couldn’t digest the equal right of woman and man. I strongly comment that no dresses are natural; all dresses are human-made.

I would like say that if one cannot dress the ways one want just because of meaningless tradition only for women, then what one has achieved in life?

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Diwali: Please no unnecessary pollution this time

This year Diwali festival is on Nov 3, 2013. Most of us are much excited to celebrate and have full fun. Celebration and fun are good ideas. But please remember the promises made during school and college time. I am sure most of us were taught in schools and colleges for not to burn fireworks/crackers. Please do recall that and adhere to it. I hope atleast educated people understand that the teachings of schools and colleges are meaningful.

Most of us think that Diwali comes once in a year and we should have lots of fun. My friends, yes, Diwali comes once in year, but it comes every year. Also introspect yourself, do you really enjoy burning firework? More or less it is like burning Rupees notes. I think that we just believe that we should enjoy burning firework, but actually we don’t.

Then, comes the point of pollution created by firework. Almost everyone says that they love their children like anything. What kind of atmosphere (air) they are leaving behind for their children. What kind of entertainment is this? It is like burning the earth and enjoy. If we want to pollute the planet earth for no benefit, then what is meaning of Mother Earth. Some people argue for use of vehicle, LPG and other things which are creating pollution, then why to stop only burning firework. Vehicles are used for transport, LPG is used for cooking etc., but burning fireworks has only bad impact. And yes, every year, we celebrate Earth’s Day where people discuss how to decrease the emissions of pollutants. Unfortunately, many of us who discuss the issue just discuss only. No implement.

Also, some people argue that most the pollution is created by Autorickshaw wala (three wheeler) and I am creating only little by burning firework. Here I want to point out that Auto wala is poor men/women and earning his/her livelihood. He is not educated enough to understand and financial strong to take care of it. For that we need think of ways to give better option to Auto walas than to blame them. The point is, firstly, we should be able see what are we doing. If we educated people can not understand, then how can we expect the other to understand.

Finally, many of us think that burning fireworks on Diwali is a “Shagun”. Please use your mind. How burning such a thing which is polluting the air you breathe can be “shagun”. For those who believe in story of Ramayana, it is no where mentioned that people burn firework which Mr. Ram reached Ayodya.

In this article, my main concern is for educated people. If all educated people understand and stop burning firework, rest can be made understand easily.

As far as entertainment is concerned, there are bundle of ways. WE can play games, we can have new clothes, we may prepare and eat special dishes, we may celebrate with poor and needy people etc. etc.

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Karva Chauth: One of the reasons for killing of women

Karva Chauth is a festival on which a married woman observe fast for whole day for the long life of her husband. Yes, she loves him and want him to live long. But there is no balance of the tradition, I mean there is no fast to be observed by a man for his wife. Does he not love his wife? Whatever, atleast so called India’s rich tradition seems to be biased as far as karva chauth is concerned.

Only woman fasting for her husband shows the importance of life of a man. But probably woman’s life is not so important. If woman is not important; killing her for dowry, killing her before birth etc. is not a big deal. So India’s tradition of karva chauth is ‘oil in the fire of women killing’.

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Dowry: A big reason for many crimes

Whenever we talk about dowry, people say that dowry is the part of love and affection which parents give to the in-laws of their daughter at her marriage. But there are many cases where such love has proved hell for their daughter and sometimes even for other women. Many times in greed for more and more money in dowry, in-laws gives a lot of pain to the so called loving daughter. There is also no deficiency in cases where the married woman is abandoned or even killed by in-laws so that they can get dowry by remarrying their son. We might not have seen these extreme cases in our near relations. But as far as dowry is concerned we all accept it. Just think, normally the man and the woman going to marry belongs to families of similar financial status. It really does not matter if do not accept or offer any thing in dowry. But by doing so we can be great helper to our society. Those who are getting dowry, believe me that dowry amount can be easily earn in few days. But if we stick to dowry custom, we are unknowingly harming other and may be some times our own close relatives. People without any feelings for others make bad use of dowry custom. Let’s not be part of crime. Society call us well educated. Let us make use of that education and boycott dowry in any form. Believe me, it is not as difficult as we think. We have to be determined. My friends, lets pledge that there will be no dowry involvement in our own marriage, at least. I again stress that dowry amount is not going to make any difference in the life of family who going to get it. But by abandoning this very-very BAD system, we may save many lives.

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